When I first started this job, I knew that it would involve a lot of time on the road and a lot of time in hotel rooms. Now my airline like most airlines has contracts with a variety of hotels, some nice and some…well…rather terrible. Where we stay really depends upon the cost of the room; after all, airlines are hurting for money and looking to cut costs wherever and whenever they can. The basic rule among the airlines is this: find a room and make it cheap! The relative cost of the room often depends on the location of the hotel—big, touristy cities usually have more demand and, therefore, costlier rooms. Usually there are a greater variety of hotel chains, and so what you get often varies. Podunk towns, on the other hand, often have cheaper rooms. They also might have less hotels or older, more decrepit rooms.
Even in my short time as a flight attendant, I have learned that some hotels are absolute gems and many others should be avoided at all costs. The more luxurious hotels—the Westins, Hiltons, Intercontinentals, Hyatts etc. of the world are classy and elegant. They can vary depending on the location, but at least you know what you’re going to get. When a flight attendant sees one of these on their schedule, they feel good about life, and know that they will sleep well, eat well, and be pampered with nice amenities. The one downside is that extra services at these hotels, i.e. Internet, room service, and parking often carry a supplemental charge (sometimes eclipsing the benefit of the service). Business class hotels (my favorite) are often nicely appointed and comfortable but not ultra luxurious. Many are owned or franchised by the big name brands. This category includes Hyatt Place, Hilton Garden Inn, and Aloft. Sometimes the rooms are branded as mini suites with a separate sitting area and desk and a massive television that can be seen from the bedroom and the sitting room. As an added bonus, many of these hotels even often a cold or hot breakfast in the morning—a great benefit for a life of the road. Business class hotels are perfect for business travelers and a nice, comfortable place for Flight Attendants to snuggle in for the night. Now, the hotels that most flight attendants dread are the low rent types—the Days Inn, the Holiday Inn, and the no-name places that somehow end up on our schedules and which may even drive you to give up a really good trip. These are the hotels with those nasty floral print comforters that, by no means, should ever touch any part of your body. Rumors of bed bugs and other creepy crawlies abound at such places. Bathroom amenities and lighting are often dismal at best and leave one wishing for home.
For those of you who aren’t as hotel savvy as yours truly, I’ve compiled a list of some dos and don’ts to keep in mind when you stay in a hotel. This can be applied to any room (but it is especially helpful in those dingy and ‘questionable’ hotel types). You are entering a space that is not your own but which you and your stuff are going to occupy for X number of hours. You want to be comfortable, but remember that many other people have graced this room with their presence before you. And some have left things behind—socks that have fallen under the bed or unknown ‘substances’ that may be less visible but twice as menacing. Firstly, make sure there is no one in your room when you enter it. I’m not necessarily talking about psychos hiding in the shower or under the bed—I’m also talking about hotels making the mistake that the room is available. Believe it or not, I have walked in on a variety of situations that I really didn’t need to see just because the room was thought to be available and in actuality wasn’t. So, open the door with a bit of caution. Then scout out a place to put your luggage. If there is an adjoining room, I recommend that you place your luggage in front of that door (and on the stand provided—don’t ever place your bag on the floor, and in fact try to let as few things touch the carpet as possible. Why you may ask? Because that carpet sees a lot of traffic but may have never witnessed a vacuum cleaner in action. It may actually get plenty of action…and we can stop right there). I recommend wearing slippers or at least socks in your room—would you walk barefoot in a public bathroom? Practically the same thing. Also, never ever place your luggage on the bed—if that bed were to have bed bugs, you have now just invited them into your suitcase and into your life—they will tag along and invade your house. Don’t do it. So, short of hauling the desk to block off the adjoining room door, your luggage blockading it is a good alternative. Now most rooms will have drawers available to you, but seriously, don’t put your clothes in there. You may be in the room for a week, but you can and will live out of your suitcase…do you really want to discover a curly little hair on your underwear that is clearly not your own?…seriously, don’t do it! Now for the most important step, and even if you bypass all the other tips I’m providing you don’t forgo this one. See that ugly comforter on the bed? Your goal is to get rid of it—fling it across the room and well away from your stuff. The reason is this: how often do you wash your comforter at home? Probably not very often. Well, that comforter may be dirty but at least it’s your dirt. You know where it’s been and who’s had contact with it. Now think of that hotel room comforter and the countless number of people who it’s been in contact with or what they were doing in or around that bed. “Oh, but it’s been washed” you might say. Sorry people, but the truth is that they wash and change the sheets, but very rarely do they change the comforter. Eww. I recommend a flick of the wrist—grab it by a corner and flick the damn thing away. And then wash and disinfect your hands. In reality, the less stuff you touch in the room, the better. For example, I almost never turn the TV on or fiddle with the clock/radio or even the in-room telephone. If you choose to, however, you should put on gloves or maybe even a sandwich baggie. Some flight attendants recommend placing the remote control inside a baggie so they never have to touch the remote. Remember, most hotels show porn on demand, and what do people do when they watch porn….? Again, eww. Before you settle in for the night, make sure you lock and bolt your door shut. I am not a paranoid person, but I have had a couple of experiences on the road where someone has mistaken my room for theirs and tried to invite themself in. One particular instance of this was during spring break week in Daytona Beach, FL. At 3am, three redneck frat boys started hammering on the door thinking their buddy was inside and that this was indeed their room. I thank god that that door lock was engaged and fully functional—if those guys had made it in my room, I never would have been able to get them out, and who wants three crazed men in their room in the middle of the night…hmm….on second thought.
Okay, so I have one more bone to pick before I stop rambling on. I recently stayed at a hotel in Paris, which claims to be a luxury/business class hotel. So, I’m thinking a business hotel should have amenities in the room that would enable a modern-day business traveler to complete their business. I didn’t have a computer or a need to plug a bunch of things in; however, I did want to charge my phone. The problem is that there was not one available outlet in the room. Not even one. Some hotels have an outlet in the bathroom that says ‘shavers only’ (this is so people don’t try to plug in high-powered appliances like, you know, hair dryers or the spare blender, for example), but this hotel didn’t even have that. I actually had to crawl behind the television, covering myself in an array of cobwebs and dust, unplug it, and then plug my phone charger in. How very inconvenient. Seriously, is it really that hard to install some spare outlets or to leave at least one outlet unattended by the multitude of floor lights and other electronics in the room!? Just a thought. Bitchy, maybe…but practical all the same.
